Length Challenged Kevin Hart Says “Hell No!” to leg lengthening surgery

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By Webdesk

Kevin Hart will not have a dangerous, arduous and wholly unnecessary operation to bring his obviously short stature to an average height. In other news, Larry David does not get hair plugs and Mr Bean will pass on speech therapy.

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On Tuesday, heart spoke to controversial internet celebrity and semi-pro boxer Logan Paul on the IMPAULSIVE podcast, and the 5’2” Jumanji star commented on the recent trend of men looking leg lengthening surgeries which slowly and painfully increase their height to ten centimeters. In a post-Tinder world, the surgery, which starts at $75,000, is rarely covered by insurance and results in at least four months of limited mobility and severe pain, is a surprisingly popular procedure for little guys who just want to know what the weather is like up there.

When asked by Paul Hart about his thoughts on the surgery, the short stand-up superstar gave a very unequivocal “What the fuck is going on?” in answer.

“At some point we have to hold the right people accountable, and it’s the doctors,” Hart said of the trendy surgery, “It’s the dumbest shit ever!” Hart cringed at the thought of a licensed surgeon advocating for their patient to voluntarily destroy their own skeleton just to add a few inches to their hinge profile. Hart scolded his five-foot colleague for thinking they could make the procedure go smoothly, saying, “No one will think you’re having a growth spurt!” You clearly did the job!” Hart exclaimed, “Here’s what I’m saying, people are fucking losing their minds!”

Hart then took a kinder tone as he addressed directly the insecure little men attracted to the surgery, saying, “I’m not going to tell anyone what to do with your life.” It’s your life! … Live it the way you want. Do with it what you will.” However, Hart is dismayed at how much outside validation has played into the self-esteem issues that have led men to this dangerous surgery, explaining, “I really hope and pray that this thing of ‘acceptance’ and looking for it in others becomes a calm down a bit, and we’re not looking for acceptance from people you don’t fucking know and people who have no value to you.

“I never wanted to be tall,” Hart admitted, before sharing a startling revelation, “I thought I was tall before I got around tall people! My crew were all the same size (as me), and I thought, “This is good! We’ll kill it!” Then I got around tall people and I was like, ‘Oh shit, this is different. The NBA is off.'”

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