Have you ever been minding your business while walking down the street when you were accosted by an extroverted PETA volunteer with a clipboard in their hand and judgmental stares in their back pockets? They almost knock the Airpods out of your ears with a shrill, “Do you care about the lives of Leatherback Turtles?” pick up line. Sorry Suzy it’s not that I don’t care about turtles but you just attacked my personal bubble and now I hate you. One TikToker made a video detailing the top 5 ways to avoid these types of interactions that we are all 100% guilty of.
The guys from We Are Joke TV, a live comedy channel, took to the streets to experiment with some of the best techniques for avoiding street vendors. Honestly, no one ever wants to talk to a street vendor – either you don’t have the time, you don’t care to hear what they say, or you just hate signing random petitions in public. Which of these techniques do you use?
1. False foreign language
Sorry friend, but saying “Sorry I don’t speak English”… is English. With this one, however, the message comes across quite clearly. Just because you speak the same language doesn’t mean you have to talk on the street for any reason.
2. My transport is leaving
The visible confusion of the clipboard volunteer is quite obvious. But again, this definitely sends the message that you just don’t have time to talk to them. This is undoubtedly the most polite option available to passers-by.
This one could be a personal favorite. Although you make eye contact with the street vendor, they can do nothing but watch you pass at an inhuman pace. You could always say you were in a hurry, a fast person by nature, or clinically insane.
4. The fascinating phone call
We’ve all done this before by walking into a target. You see the high school kids selling exorbitantly priced candy bars for charity, but you know you can get the same Snickers for just $1 at checkout. Sorry kid I have a VERY important call so I don’t feel guilty trying to save 50 cents.
5. Screw you
If in doubt, put your middle finger out. This is a tried and tested classic and is almost always an option when you’re in a pinch. No one wants to be asked out on the street without their permission, so this feels totally appropriate…. right?