TALLAHASSEE, FL — Attempting to redo his formal announcement in an effort to offset last night’s malfunction-ridden debacle on Twitter, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis reportedly resumed his presidential campaign Thursday from a burning Tesla. “America deserves a president who will not succumb to awakening and will instead embrace the values of our founding fathers,” said DeSantis, who sat in the front seat of a Tesla Roadster as it filled with smoke and the doors automatically locked. helplessly continued on as the hood went up in flames, the self-driving function was engaged and the fiery vehicle tore through the streets, running over countless pedestrians. “We have to rein in the governance state, and President…President Biden is not… Shit, shit, shit. Um, we have to…Oh God!– we have to close the border, and … we, ugh, I need help! Please call 9-1-1! I have no control over this thing!At press time, first responders reportedly saved DeSantis by pulling him out through one of the Tesla windows, the bulletproof glass shattered immediately after an officer fired a single shot at it.